Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Thanks ESPN!

[you got to play this video while you read, you just gotta]

Over the last few years, athletes have increasingly become victims of random violence. Armed robbery, home invasion, drive-bys, shootings, etc. Often times Every Suspect Probably a Negro aka ESPN is the first to report on these unfortunate events, as they should be. Not only are they the "Worldwide Leader in Sports" they are also the worldwide leader in information leading to robbery.

I myself visit ESPN.com frequently. A few years ago I noticed some extra numbers next to the stats I was looking up....player salaries. Yeah...you can go on ESPN and find out how much your favorite (or least favorite player) is making per year. Of course we'd all hear about players signing big contracts, but most of the time the headlines would only last for a week if that. After that, you'd pretty much forget exactly how much they were making...you just knew they were making more than yo'ass. But now, thanks to ESPN, you can remind yourself everyday how much these athletes are making.

For instance, ESPN reminds me of how much money Speedy Claxton is stealing from the Hawks every year. Honestly, I want to rob that fool right now just thinking about it. But ya'll know that I won't.

But, I can't say the same for the rest of these folks out here in the field. NGH's are out here hurting. I'm not condoning violence against anyone, but damn, if I'm "999,999 thousand short of a mil" like the above song said, and I see that cats are raking in millions, some thoughts are going to run through my head.

I mean, imagine...there are probably plenty of cats, broke, struggling, hurting...whose daily highlight is looking at stats on ESPN. They mess around and look up someone and see that they making $7 million this year...and find out they live around the corner or messing with some chick in around the way. Like I said, I'm not condoning violence against anyone, but, I can see how the thought enters one's head.

In case you're missing what I'm getting at...yes, I am inferring that ESPN.com one of the main reasons why athletes are getting terrorized. Of course, the bigger picture is that we live in an information overload society where you could quite possibly find these dude's cribs on Google Maps. But still...

I just find it so ironic and damn near funny that ESPN is the first to report on cats signing big contracts and then posting their annual salary on the website for all to see...and then being the first to report on them getting robbed or shot. More often than not, ESPN's talking heads love to bring the "stop going out, your a pro athlete" arguement to the table as if these dudes are supposed to live like hermits once they start making a little money. Then they love to say "well, how many times can you be in the wrong place at the wrong time" if an athlete winds up in the news again. To borrow a quote from Jalen Rose who shut one of them ESPN talking heads completely down once when he said..."when you a Black man with money, everywhere is the wrong place, and every minute is the wrong time."

On the flipside though, some of these athletes have to start using common sense too. As a high-profile multi-millionare, there is certain shit that you just don't do. One of them is follow chicks home from the club (word to Gucci Mane). I myself am a thousandaire and I know better than to do that dumb shit. Girls in the club will get you jammed up.

There is too much room for f*ckery to go down. I mean, as you are following them most of the time they are going to be on the phone. Ever stop to think "hey, she aint talking to me, who else would she be talking to that time of night?" She aint calling her mother to let her know she about to do the nasty. She probably aint on the phone with her best friend either. Most likely she on the phone with "them niggas." You know...them niggas who en route to hide behind the bushes and jump out like Jack In the Box.

Sorry for trailing off...

But yeah...I just wanted to thank ESPN for being a well-rounded news organization. Not only do they cover athlete robberies, they also play a huge part in making them happen. Duh-duh-duh...duh-duh-duh!

In parting, I wanted leave potentially victimized athletes with some words of wisdom from the Mighty Mos Def..."this is how you get got!"

*PS...mysteriously the salaries for NFL players were snatched down recently.


Burn One said...

"As a high-profile multi-millionare, there is certain shit that you just don't do. One of them is follow chicks home from the club (word to Gucci Mane)." haha, classic. great article.

i'm just an ordinary negro... said...

word up sir, i was thinkin the same shit...

Anonymous said...

mike hampton. 15.5M... nuff said.

CoCo said...


a-towndown said...

Good article bruh.. As you know somebody broke into "money" Floyd mayweather's crib and stole 7 milli in jewelery.This niggaz cameras weren't working plus the alarm wasn't armed..sounds like some inside shit to memaybe he did it to collect on insurance or some shit.. shonuff